SEX Chocolate – 4 of 6

There are 2 books that really made a positive impact on my sex life … really making a huge impact on my perspective of the issue...

1) Sacred Sex by Alan Gardner

2) Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman

Because of my past I had a skewed perspective on sex (including women and relationships for that matter); I mean I really didn’t understand what God was thinking when He created sex. But I did know that He created it to be much more sacred/holy/lovely then it is pictured in Hollywood.

I wanted what God wanted for me in the area of sex… I am sure you do as well.

Sex is something sacred and special that we get to celebrate with our mate. It is something that should be enjoyed by BOTH husband AND wife. Neither the husband nor the wife should just endure until it’s over.

I realize that there may be abuse in your past… if so, I would encourage you to read a great book, Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall. And I would also like to add that I am so sorry that you had to suffer that pain!

To be continued…

SEX Chocolate - 3 of 6

My Insecurities

If I’m honest, which to me that is the only way to be, even at the expense of sharing “too much information”. I feel that if my story can help someone else, then I will tell it… the good, the bad and the ugly. This is what I see in the Bible; it not only tells the good things people did, but even the bad stuff. Look at David … wow … had an affair and then had the women’s husband killed … you would have thought he would have left that out … but it’s the truth … my story pails in comparison, yet it is my story … my journey.

I am not sure if it was having 3 father figures by the time I was 7 years old had anything to do with deep seeded insecurities, or if it is because I was a late bloomer and was very unpopular in Junior High… or the fact that I was a bed wetter til I was 14? All I know is that I was incredible insecure and wanted to be liked, accepted and cool.

And truthfully I am not sure that “insecurities” are something deep within our pasts that we necessarily need to dig up to find out WHY… I think we have all have insecurities and the important thing is to conquer them… to overcome them.

For me the best day in my life was when God brought me Jana in 1993 and she helped me face my insecurities and ultimately overcome them. Now of course I still deal with insecurities like every human being, but they typically do not control my actions.

Sometimes I’ve seen spouses ADD TO their mate’s insecurities … not good! Thankfully, for me, Jana helped sooth my insecurities and made me feel secure in our relationship and she helped my feel secure to be me. And, yes most definitely as I grew in my relationship with Christ I was able to find meaning and purpose in my relationship with Him … and as I have grown just naturally.

More later…

P.S. I encourage comments, though I will not post your comment if it’s 1) Anonymous, 2) Mean and Unchristian (like a recent comment I received!)

As with anything I say on my blog I am open for feedback, and discussion but not for people just spewing hateful rhetoric.

SEX Chocolate - 2 of 6

My Promiscuous Past

Losing my virginity when I was 17 lead me down a very promiscuous road of meaningless sexual escapades that left me feeling lonely and empty.

My search was for acceptance, fulfillment, meaning and I guess for …love. But it was like the carrot to the donkey … it eluded me. This was because I was as the songs says, “…looking for love in all the wrong places”.

Now, you may think I am going to say, “then I met God and all was well…” well I’m not, because remember I was already a church going Christian, and I loved God, but there was an emptiness in me that yearned for more attention … to be accepted, to be wanted, to be loved. And every girl I dated (if that is what you call it) still left me wanting more … so I’d jump to the next girl, then the next, then the next … and so on it went for 7 years.

Even when I went to Bible College I struggled with needing to be accepted … to feel loved, and to be valued… and the way I tried to meet that need was through sexual activity … I felt that if a girl would have sex with me that meant she loved me, she valued me, she accepted me … and I wanted to be loved.

To be honest with you I am not sure where the void in my life came from … but I suspect it came from when I was a child… which just further fueled the already heightened male teen testosterone … that was “burning in loins” as the bible says (ha!)

You’ll want to keep reading my story of love that I refer to as my Storybook Marriage w/Jana… because there is a happy, fulfilled and meaningful ending… though it’s only just begun!

To be continued…