Life's View

This is my view this morning, awesome huh! What is your view? I am not talking about about looking across at your neighbor's home, or your backyard, but your life's view.

If you are like me, which I am sure you are, my life's view changes with the tide of life ... when life is good, my view is good, when life is tough, my view isn't so good. But should it be like that? I don't know? I do know that our attitude should be good no matter what life throws our way; good, the bad, the ugly.

Maybe we should reflect on that today ... what is my view of life. Because I do believe that how we view life plays a huge role in how much we enjoy life.

God bless!

Shark Attack

We nearly lost Vandon to a HUGE great white Shark ... I was able to get a quick picture before I rescued him.

Actually, we haven't even seen a shark yet (yes, we usually do). We hope we get to see a shark feeding, just not on a person, of course! Unless they are mean. J/K!

Not much to report to you since we just got here, but as the days pass I will share some highlights with you here on my blog.

So far Vandon and Shaeylea have ridden some big waves ... especially today since there was a storm that moved in kicking up the waves a bit. I nearly lost my shorts when a big wave hit me (I didn't have my suit tied up) ... I learned my lesson ... TIE YOUR SUIT!

I must say that I do love the sound of the ocean (the sound I sleep too most every night) ... there is nothing like the real thing.

Michael Jackson Dies

August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

I actually went to see Michael Jackson in concert here in Kansas City back in the early 90's for the "BAD" tour. It was bad, the good bad! It really was awesome! He was a great performer!

If you want to know more if his life story go to: http://www.allmichaeljackson.com/biography.html

Pastor

God put a desire in my heart to be a pastor when I was but a 10 year old little boy. My parents recently came across a little piece of paper in a hope chest in the attic that had "I love Jesus with all my heart and I want to help people and be a pastor when I grow up" written on it. It was signed by me in October of 1979.

That's crazy! And here I am in 2009, some 30 years later, working as a pastor and helping people.

Q: So why did I want to be a pastor 30 years ago?

I have always had a heart to help people. I was born with it I guess. Maybe my parents drilled it into me? No sure. Neither of my parents where pastors though, so ... I don't know where it came from but that God called me to it.

Ephesians 4:11 "And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers." - NAS

I honestly didn't feel there was any other choice for me ... and I say that as a positive. I love helping people, and I always have, and I am sure I always will.

All my life I have followed (stumbling along the way) the path that God laid before me. It's not always been easy, and I have wanted to take many detours along the way and in some cases have taken the detour, but God kept me and keeps me each and everyday always gently bringing me back to the place I am to be.

One simple motto I attempt to live by in my life is when faced with a choice I ask this question before I chose:

*Is this thing (whatever it is) inline with my life's goals? If so, then proceed. And if not, then don't do it!

And that little thought has helped me along the way.

Let me give you an example that may help to clarify just what I mean. I am a married man with Children. Even though I am a pastor I get invited (or have the opportunity) on occasion to go to a club after work with friends (typically not people in the church) to have a drink.

Now, nothing wrong with that in and of itself. Nothing wrong with having A DRINK, nothing wrong with HANGING WITH SOME FRIENDS, and nothing wrong with being in a CLUB. BUT (a big "but" that is) when I ask myself the question; "is going to a club for a drink after work (when I should be going home to be with family) with some friends inline with my life's goals of a happy, healthy, life long marriage?" The answer becomes obvious to me - No, it's not a sin per sue, but it's not right for me.

On and on I could go with example after example of times we are all faced with choices and I can not tell you how important it is to CHOSE WISELY! There have been countless times in my life when I wanted to do something, but when I put it through the TEST question, it fails ... so I don't do it.

Chose wisely all that you do, and I hope that you have the life you've always wanted! I believe you can, I really do!

Our 15th Wedding Anniversary

Jana (the love of my life) and I just celebrated 15 years of marriage on Thursday, June 18th! Wow, time flies!

Back in January of this year as I was planning my calendar year and when I saw that we'd be celebrating 15 years I just had to do something special. I do a little something special every year, but for the 15th I wanted to do something memorable, yet inexpensive.

I am definitely a hopeless romantic and wanted it to be super special ... so I decided to take Jana back to the very church we were married in 15 years ago AND have all our close friends and the original wedding party there to share in the moment. So I reserve the church we got married in - First Presbyterian Church of Sand Springs in Oklahoma for another wedding on our 15th Anniversary, without Jana finding out! That was difficult! but I succeeded!

Time will not allow me to regale you with all the details, lies I told, and the times I had to deceive Jana all in the name of love to make sure it came together!

Once I had secured the church and the original pastor (Pastor David Plank - who was Jana's childhood pastor whose daughter actually introduced Jana to Christ as a teenager)then we were good to go! This is where Facebook came in handy ... and I got the old Wedding Photo Album out to look up all those who were actually in the wedding 15 years ago. I found most of them. Of course they were all married now with children, and living all over the country and one (Saidat) even flew in from Canada to share in this very special moment in our lives.

For whatever reason Jana and I do have a very special love relationship and truly have become soul-mates through time. We are thankful!

The story continues: So how am I going to get Jana 4 1/2 hours away on our Anniversary to take her to the church to marry me again? That's what I was wondering!

But fortunately Jana's father lives in Oklahoma (about an hour from the church) so I thought, "okay I will just ask Jana if she wants to celebrate our anniversary at her dads this year... since he lives on 180 acres and it's beautiful and romantic..." She accepted! Good!

Now, how am I going to get her to where her original wedding dress? This is where all my dear friends came in ... Michele Huff transported Jana's dress and Bouquet (and other stuff) to church on the day of ... Danielle Hollis made all the Bride's Maids Bouquets and she made the Cake, which was yummy! and the Baergs brought a Tux for Vandon (who was the ring bearer) and Jessica Adelman (the original flower girl) brought the dress she had worn that day for Shaeylea to wear.

So on the day of our anniversary when I woke up I kissed Jana and told her happy anniversary and began having her reflect on what she was doing 15 years ago and this moment ... so we reminisced about the day of our wedding. Fun fun!

Then we got ready for our "dinner date" so she thought, and we loaded up to head to dinner, but I said "hey let's go by the church and show the kids where we were married ... and take a few pictures for memory sake?" She said, "okay, sound fun."

She actually gave me directions to the church (I acted ignorant of where it was, and acted like I couldn't even remember the name of church... lol! Awesome!) All the wedding party and friends where there at 4PM, we pulled up at 4:15PM to "take a few pictures for fun."

We snapped a couple pictures, then I knelt down and asked her to marry me ... she said, "yes" ... (she is use to me being romantic and doing things like that so she didn't think much about it ... until I opened the door of the church and said, "...again?" and everyone said, "surprise!" She ran back out of the church bawling her eyes out ...

The rest is history ... her Bride's Maids helped her get ready to "get married" again, and 30 minutes later her father escorted her down the isle of the very church we were married in 15 years before ... I was waiting at the altar with the same excited feelings I had 15 years ago ... it was awesome! During Communion Brandon Hollis sang, and during the Unity Sand Ceremony Patrick Vandiver sang.

The Reception was held at Ted's Escondido in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma ... and everyone paid for their own meal. Thank God, because 60 people attended! I am not a TV Evangelist ya know!

The picture was taken on the steps of the church ... of course we had a photographer there as well as a videographer to record this special event I worked on for 6 months!

Self Leadership

I think too many times we are too dependent (lazy may be a better word, but I don't want to offend anyone) on others to "do it for us" (whatever it is) rather then doing it for ourselves.

Unfortunately this is also true in the local church; I am guilty of feeling this way as well. "I want my local church (that I only attend when I'm not too busy)to fix all my problems, teach me the whole Bible, teach my kids the whole Bible and make them behave (and if they aren't behaving it's the churches fault) give me a worship experience that brings a tear to my eye and gives me goose bumps, makes my spouse more loving, my job more enjoyable, and makes food taste better ... etc etc.

Then all week we do absolutely nothing to continue to feed ourselves spiritually ... and then again we wonder why we aren't growing ... it's never our fault ... so we blame everyone and everything other then the person to blame - OURSELVES!

If I am not in shape physically, I don't blame the local YMCA that I attend, I blame myself for not doing what I need to do to grow (or get in shape) everything I need to get in shape is available to me, but I must pick up the weights myself and move.

As for those of us who are married ... I think it's the husbands responsibility to LEAD spirituality in the home ... if a home is not growing spiritually ... it's the husbands fault! (There can be exceptions ... but rarely). And for those of us who are parents, its our responsibility to TRAIN UP OUR CHILDREN in the LORD ... we parents should TEACH our children the things of God.

Parents we are with our kids 7 days a week, and the local church gets them for an hour once a week (maybe) ... it would only make sense that the primary teacher and spiritual discipleship of our children in coming from us ... let's step up to the plate parents! Don't slough that responsibility off on someone else ... jump in and play an active role in their spiritual growth!

Where do I start?

1) Buy a good book (study guide) on whatever you want to learn.
2) Buy a childrens bible devotional - turn the stupid TV off and read it to your child every night before bed.
3) Serve in the the local church you attend ... press in!

We've Got it Backwards

I was thinking about marriage again today and I just had this thought as I was sitting next to my wife at the pool; we've got it backwards.

When we first meet that special someone we chase them, date them, love them, call them, buy gifts for them, think of them, tell other people about them, compliment them, go places with them, we want to be with them all the time ... we spend many hours on the phone talking to them, we tell them how much we care for them, on and on it goes ... then we MARRY THEM. And all that "dating" stuff STOPS.

And then we wonder, "I don't know what happened ... it was great when we were dating ... we've just grown a part ..."

So, I am here to tell you that we've got it backwards ... all that "dating" stuff above should be for marriage!

And if you use your kids, job or life as your excuse why you don't ... you are just making lame excuses! Yes, I will agree that you have to get a bit more creative and put a little more effort into it, but it can be done. We trade childcare with another couple we are friends with so we can at least get 2 official dates a month.

So, if this is you, back it up and reverse it!

Rich Poor

I get frustrated with myself and others as we complain about "not having enough money" when we are really rich; especially when you compare what we have and what the rest of the world has... I am ashamed of my attitude!

Just a couple of questions for us to consider when tempted to complain about not having enough:

1) Do you have a place to sleep indoors?
2) Do your cars sleep indoors?
3) Did you eat yesterday? Will you eat today?
4) Did you eat all you wanted?
5) Did you have enough water to drink?
6) Do you have a TV? How many?
7) Do your TV's have cable? Or a DVD Player attached?
8) Do you have at least one pair of shoes?
9) Do you have at least one shirt, and a pair of pants?
10) Do you wash in a public lake, or do you have running water inside your house?
11) Do you have a computer, cell phone, any kind of game unit?
12) If you have children, do they have clothes, more toys then they can even play with, food when they are hungry, water when they are thirsty?
13) Have you gone out to eat in the last month?
14) Have you gone to a movie theater to watch a show in the last month?
15) If you had to, could you come up with $100 today?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then you are better off then 70% of this world! Stop complaining and be thankful.

Disclaimer: Nothing wrong with having these things and more! But please be thankful, and generous! If everything you have is just for you and yours ... you've got a problem; you don't have money, it has you!

Luke 12:28 "...From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more."

Unhappily Ever After

Marriage works best when each spouse serves the other as if they were perfect! Rather then what we typically do (because we don't feel like doing it the other way) which is to treat the other person like we feel they are treating us. This is the cycle of doom.

He doesn't love me, therefor I will not love him, and because she won't love me, I won't love her ... on and on it goes. Usually this scenario ends in divorce. Or at least ends in two people just living unhappily ever after!

Neither wants this cycle of doom, yet both continue to feed it through pride. And I see this a lot, and I am tempted to jump into it myself from time to time (even though you understand Jana is perfect there are those rare occasions she doesn't do just what I would like her to do). I think we all are tempted from time to time to jump our of the happy ship, into the unhappy ship of doom.

Jesus tells us to to "love our enemies." Wow, what a challenge. Hopefully our spouse hasn't become our enemy, but sometimes they can feel like it. And they become difficult, if not impossible, in our minds, to love. But the Bible also tells us that "all things are possible with God."

So maybe, just maybe you are looking at your spouse for all that he/she ISN'T, and treated him/her like they AIN'T? When you should be treating them like they are ALL THAT and a BAG OF BEANS. Love him/her like he/she is all you ever had hoped for ... and see what happens. Seriously!

I can hear someone saying; "But Timmy he isn't all that and a bag of beans ... he is all that and a bag of poop." Well, maybe, just maybe he has become the person he has been told he is? You call him a lazy bum, so he is a lazy bum? MMMMMMMMM?

This is called complimenting and encouraging our spouses to be all they can be ... helping them become a better person!

Well I gotta run, but just try it ... if you are married SERVE YOUR SPOUSE! Call him/her RIGHT now and REPENT for whatever happened this morning, or last night and say "I love you ... I've been stressed, you've been stressed, there's a lot going on in our lives ... and I love you and believe in you!"

Peace!

Content

Why I write what I write:

I have been asked before WHY I write about what I write about here on my blog, and that is a good question. Sometimes I write on whatever I am reading or studying at the time, other times (majority)I write as a result of emails from you the reader wanting to know about certain things, and sometimes it's just something I have pulled out of left field.

If you've been reading my blog at any length at all over the years I am sure you have noticed I write a lot about Marriage (and all things related ... like sex, communication, love, adultery, etc.) And the reason for this is that I have a real passion to help couples grow a healthy marriage AND I receive a ton of emails asking me about such things.

So just FYI ... if you have a question, whether it's spiritual, marital, emotional, personal, or professional that you'd like me to address Anonymously, then this is the place to do it.

In memo put: "Blog Question"

Email: pastor@mercychurchKC.com

I pray that your life is all that you want it to be!

My 40th Birthday Ride

Going off my earlier blog entry; Making Memories, I just returned home from my first road trip on a motorcycle. I and three friends left Kansas City Monday, June 1 at about 8:30am and arrived in Eureka Springs, Arkansas at about 6:00pm, butts soar, deaf from the noise of the load pipes and the wind blowing at 65 mph right into the ear canal, sun burnt, hungry and flat worn out. It was awesome!

I would assume if I had a cruiser type bike I would have fared much better, but my bike is a small 800 1995 Kawasaki Vulcan that has been customized to make it specifically NOT a bike for long trips. The nickname for my style of bike is a "Bar-hopper" which means its only good for hopping from bar to bar (which I don't do - FYI).

The trip was just amazing, seeing many beautiful sights in the Ozarks ... the roads were absolutely amazing to ride, curvy and open with landscaping done by God on both sides. We took lots of video to capture some of it to show our families.

If you've seen the movie Wild Hogs you will appreciate this; I actually slapped a Bull's butt! I really did! Of course I did it through the fence and you'd probably call it a pat, rather then a slap. But I did touch the Bull! And it's on film to verify!

The part I enjoyed most was the time spent with friends I would say, because without them (Brandon Hollis, Orin Borgelt and Scott Sidebottom) it wouldn't have been near as meaningful ... still beautiful, but the late hour conversations (and cigars) made it an over all magnificent trip I will forever remember. Thanks guys!

One of many memorable moments for me was the trip home; I woke up at my usual 5:30am and thought I'd better check the weather since we had heard there was a major thunderstorm possible the day we were to head home. I checked the radar on my handy-dandy cell phone (what would we do without them) and there was a massive storm moving into the Eureka Springs area with flash flooding possible. It was to hit between 10am - 12pm (the time we were planning to leave). So it's either leave ASAP or wait til the storm passes around 3:00pm and get home late.

I wanted to be home to see my family, and I knew the other guys did as well. So I woke them up at about 6:30am and showed them the radar, then turned on the Weather Channel to further confirm our situation. The RUSH to get out of there began.

We get cleaned up, packed, loaded it's 7:00am and Brandon's bike won't start. So we push his HUGE cruiser bike up a HUGE hill so he can try to jump start it ... after we push it up the hill he tries one more time to push the little start button, and it starts (good thing we had pushed him up the hill). It's dark and quiet and not because the suns not out, it's cloudy, stormy ... eerie, and cold!

We get gas and hit the road, I of course didn't plan on the temperature dropping below 80, since it is June. But it was down in the 60's, which is doable unless you get rained on, which we did but I was the only one without a rain suit! Not only is it hard to ride in the rain because you feel like you are being shot by a pump action Daisey BB Gun by 100 10 year olds in the face, it's very hard to see, plus it's slick.

So there I am wet, cold, hypothermia is setting in (not really, though I did have the uncontrollable chills) and we are a long way from home. We stopped to recover for a minute and get me some dry clothes and a custom made trash bag rain suit donated to me from the sympathetic convenient store owner for the 8 mile trip to the nearest Wal-mart so I could get a real rain suit. We buy the $10.88 rain suit, put it on, and get back on the bikes ... no more rain! Go figure, the rest of the ride was fabulous!

All that said, it makes the list for memorable moments for 2009!

Making Memories

I often times forget to make memories along life's journey. I find myself hurrying along, from one thing to the next and I am missing some of the greatest moments.

I encourage you to enjoy life a bit more by Making Memories along the way!