"I'm Just Not The Affectionate Type"

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD SOMEONE SAY THIS, "WELL I'M JUST NOT THE AFFECTIONATE TYPE"? TO THAT I WOULD SAY THAT MAYBE YOU'RE NOT THE "CLEAN TYPE," BUT YOU'VE LEARNED TO TAKE SHOWERS, BRUSH YOUR TEETH, AND COMB YOUR HAIR, ETC. AFFECTION CAN BE LEARNED AND GIVEN EVEN IF "YOU'RE NOT THE AFFECTIONATE TYPE."

IN MY OPINION IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER WHAT "TYPE" OF PERSON YOU ARE, YOU CAN AND SHOULD GIVE YOUR PARTNER WHAT THEY WANT AND NEED FROM YOU! IT'S CONFUSING TO ME WHEN I COUNSEL A COUPLE AND ONE IS ASKING FOR SOMETHING REASONABLE FROM THEIR PARTNER AND HE/SHE IS UNWILLING TO GIVE IT TO THEM. 

WHEN A WIFE SAYS TO HER HUSBAND, "I WISH YOU'D HOLD MY HAND." AND HE CONTINUES TO NOT DO THIS SIMPLE TASK OF HOLDING HER HAND, EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO HER IS BAFFLING. SAME GOES FOR A HUSBAND WHO IS SWEET AND WISHES TO HAVE MORE PHYSICAL INTIMACY AND COMMUNICATES THIS TO HIS WIFE AND SHE CONTINUES TO BE TOO BUSY, HAVE WAY TOO MANY HEADACHES, AND OTHER EXCUSES. I WALK AWAY THINKING TO MYSELF, WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEY EVEN GET MARRIED IF THEY ARE NOT GOING TO DO EVERYTHING THAT CAN TO FULFILL THEIR PARTNER'S REASONABLE AND REALISTIC NEEDS AND DESIRES. 

SO IF YOU THINK YOU'RE NOT THE "AFFECTIONATE" TYPE, I UNDERSTAND THAT AND GET THAT IT MAY NOT COME NATURALLY TO YOU. MOST LIKELY YOU GREW UP IN A NOT-SO-AFFECTIONATE HOME, AND IT IS WHAT IT IS. BUT YOU CAN LEARN TO BE MORE AFFECTIONATE. ESPECIALLY IF THOSE AROUND YOU DESIRE IT. 

I GREW UP IN A VERY AFFECTIONATE HOME, I DIDN'T SAY "OVERLY AFFECTIONATE" FAMILY LIKE ON SNL, HA HA! BUT WE HUGGED, KISSED, AND GAVE VERBAL AFFIRMATIONS ALL DAY EVERYDAY AND I AM THANKFUL FOR IT. I WILL HUG, KISS AND SAY , "I LOVE YOU!" TO MY KIDS WHO ARE NOW TEEANGERS! AND THEY APPRECIATE IT. 

NOW MAYBE YOUR PARTNER HAS USED THIS EXCUSE FOR WHY HE/SHE DOESN'T SHOW AFFECTION? IF SO, LET THEM READ THIS BLOG POST AND BEGIN TO CHANGE AND BECOME MORE AFFECTIONATE! BUT I WOULD SAY, BE SYMPATHETIC TO THEIR STRUGGLE. IF THEY DIDN'T GROW UP IN A HOME THAT WAS AFFECTIONATE IT CAN TRULY BE FOREIGN TO THEM. IT WOULD ALMOST BE LIKE BEING EXPECTED TO SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE WITHOUT TRAINING. IT MAY TAKE TIME, BE SWEET, AND CONTINUE TO BE AFFECTIONATE AND COMMUNICATE. THEY'LL COME ALONG, HOPEFULLY!